For God's sake, follow your dreams

By Amit on April 7, 2010 11:17 AM | 58 Comments | No TrackBacks

We were just about getting ready to warm up for the practice game over the weekend when I had an interesting conversation with one of the team mates I actually didn't know quite well.

"So what do you do?" he asked. "Well, we work for ourselves, we run a software company", I replied. "Oh really! that's awesome! I work for xyz company, but you know I always wanted to get into animation design and work for myself. It was my dream. I got stuck in the wrong industry"

"You ain't dead yet, are you?" I thought trying hard not say that aloud. He continued "You know, I've been wanting to do this for 10 years now, but once you have a family, it's very tough to do anything else"

I couldn't resist anymore, so I said "That's great, if you really want to do that, may be you should take up some animation classes, or do some self learning at your own pace. That would be a good start". Pat came the reply "Nahh it's very difficult, with family, full time job, no time. I would love to, but I can't"

Reluctantly, I suggested "Then may be you should consider training full time for a few weeks/months and perhaps dive in full-time?" He looked at me like I had just asked him to cut off his right hand. "Are you crazy? Where will the paycheck come from?"

Realizing this conversation was heading towards an argument with someone I didn't know very well at the first place, I chose to just smile and leave it at that. But it made me think. What is it with people refusing to take some risks to follow their dreams. Are their dreams not worth it? If not, why do we sulk about them later? Don't we owe it to ourselves to at least give our dreams a fair shot?

Now, I understand, diving in full time isn't always an option for everybody, but that shouldn't deter us from at least starting to move in the right direction. Take baby steps I say, if you can't afford drastic measures, but for God's sake don't kill your dreams.

We all had some crazy ideas and dreams when we were kids. When people asked - "What do you want to do when you grow up?" you didn't say "I want to play safe and be an executive for a fortune 100 company" or "I want to work for the government for the job security"? You wanted to do something that excited you, that you were passionate about - "Armed forces, scientist, sports, music, dance, miss world" etc. You didn't even think if that would get you enough money. You just wanted to do it.

So why is it that as we grow up we lose all the passion, the energy, the will and the strength to keep our dreams alive. Why does money dictate our passion or in most cases, kill it? Why do we let "safety of a paycheck" screw our dreams? Why do we stop thinking about what we love?

We are so seduced by the thought of a guaranteed paycheck every month that we completely ignore the fact that it's actually never too late to pursue our dreams. The reason as I can understand is probably "fear of failure". We fear we might fail and that fear leads us to cook up stories about why you can't have what you want. Alibis like "I don't have time, I have family, I'll do it when I have more money etc". Stories that convince us that it's ok not to follow up on our dreams, that it's ok not to do what you love, that it's ok to just keep doing the everyday drill.

Like Tony Robbins put it - "The only thing that's keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself about why you can't have it"

What are we waiting for? A perfect day when all stars would line up in just the right direction and you would be guaranteed success? It never works that way. That moment of glory never arrives. All circumstances will almost never be in your favor. There will always be something that would be challenging. You just have to bite the bullet and take the plunge. When we set out to create Rootein, we didn't wait for everything to be just perfect, much as we would have liked. We just dived in. We started developing rootein while we were working full-time. We loved what we were doing and we did it while keeping our day time jobs. It wasn't easy, but it was fun because we were chasing our dream of working for ourselves, building software that we were passionate about.

May be it's just us. May be we are weird. May be we are foolish, but we would rather be foolish and strive to live our dream than come up with some alibis. True success is not money driven, it's driven by love and passion. You've got to love what you are doing and you've got to be passionate about it.

Failing is not scary. What's scary is that you are 60 and reflecting back on your life "May be I should've given my dreams a chance, may be I would've succeeded, may be I would've lived my dream" But now it's too late. You might have missed the boat.

Don't be scared to follow your dreams. That's the worst thing you can do to yourself.

Rocky sing!

"So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive"

UPDATE: Truly overwhelmed and humbled with the amazing response we've received. Thank you all for the comments and the Tweets. To maintain posterity and not grow this post any longer, we've posted an update regarding questions raised through some comments in this article here - An Update to "For God's sake, follow your dreams"

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Dave Goldberg | July 23, 2010 8:35 PM | Reply

I like this post. For a while I felt like I was losing sight of my dream, and I was getting frustrated. Oddly enough, it was at the point when I had my first baby (not even a month ago) that I realized that I had to set a good example by going after what I want and taking some risks.

I'm not crazy, and I didn't quit my day job. I'm just working at night to learn to code so I can turn some of my ideas into a reality. I want to be my own boss and work on innovative ideas. One step at a time...

Incidentally, I've found that having a baby increased my focus. I now use my time more wisely (I know I know, it's only been a month) because I have less of it to waste.

Thanks for the post.

Jonathan Rasmusson | July 23, 2010 8:36 PM | Reply

Great post Amit.
I know exactly where you are coming from.
I just posted a blog on the exact same thing last night.

http://agilewarrior.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/filling-the-joy-bucket/

I call it filling the joy bucket. I basically say if you gotta do, try setting aside a hour a day for a week and see if it makes you feel any better.

It's worked wonders for me.
Enabled me to write a book.
And now I am working on an idea I've had for sometime.

Sure it's not easy.

And you often have to start before you are ready

http://www.stevenpressfield.com/2010/07/start-before-youre-ready/

But I 100% agree. Thx for sharing.

Jeremy | July 23, 2010 8:47 PM | Reply

Great post, Amit! The biggest thing I learned in my first startup was that I had time to work on a side project. Even if it's just 5 hours a week, find something to create. Either come up with an idea yourself, or find someone who needs help with a startup.

the other side.. | July 23, 2010 8:52 PM | Reply

Well, when you are on the opposite side of the fence - startup failed, out of cash, two kids going into college, house to pay - and no one will give you the time of day when you say you have 15+ years of startup experience since they only want to hire college grads, you find yourself wondering if chasing that dream was really worth it. hope it doesn't happen to you.

bibek | July 23, 2010 9:00 PM | Reply

"Failing is not scary. What's scary is that you are 60 and reflecting back on your life "May be I should've given my dreams a chance, may be I would've succeeded, may be I would've lived my dream" But now it's too late. You might have missed the boat."

Thanks for this. Nice post. Am learning coding at night, while still keeping my full time job.And like you said, its not easy. What keeps me going is realizing that, what I am doing is something that i wanted to do so much, and now i m finally doing it.

Reminds me a Bear Grylls' tweet:
"Run when you can,
walk when you have to,
crawl if you must;
just never give up"

Jodo Kast | July 23, 2010 9:55 PM | Reply

Ever heard of reality?

This post does not apply.

Jeff Miller | July 23, 2010 10:00 PM | Reply

Amit, great thoughts in general but I think you should consider the position the guy with kids is in. Taking risks is no longer just about him anymore; it affects his whole family. I think he has a point about being risk averse and placing more emphasis on safety. Okay, maybe he takes it too far in totally refusing to consider anything but a steady job. Still, your advice about "failing is not scary" is easier to apply to people that are untethered by responsibilities to others.

You asked: Why do we let "safety of a paycheck" screw our dreams? Answer: because having children requires sacrifice. In the end there is a balancing act. I do think many parents have room to take more risks, but on the other side of the coin, it's not as easy as saying "forget everything and just follow you dreams".

jb | July 23, 2010 10:00 PM | Reply

I'm going to play devil's advocate here for a moment,

It's easy to judge someone's situation if you aren't living in their shoes.

Imagine you have a family (you love dearly and don't want to let down or risk compromising their quality of life), lots of recurring expenses, one job in the household, 50-60h workweeks to just keep the thing rolling.

Where's the time going to come from to change course? Who's going to pay bills and expenses while you train, let alone, look for work/found a company, go through the salad years AGAIN.

Whether you like your career or not, after you've invested 10+ years, you tend to get to a pay grade out of range of a novice, but starting over makes you a novice again. Expect to take a 50-75% pay cut. With a family and fixed expenses, this is more than a bit daunting.

Go ahead though, live your dream!

Sorry for the jaded response, luckily, I don't have a dead-end or unchallenging career, but I wouldn't exactly say I'm living the dream either (in my work life). I have a wife, 2 kids (2y and 4y), single salary, home, 2 cars, plenty of bills etc, but the kids and family, in many ways, both make up for and exacerbate the failings in the career.

As the years pass, the odds of living the dream (even though I continue to stab at ideas) dwindles. It looks more and more like the chances of striking gold or winning the lottery.

That's not to say my work is a grind or makes me unhappy. There are good days and bad days, but mostly, I'm lucky to have meandered into a career which is challenging and interesting, if not always important. The dream job would probably be much the same as the existing job with possibly more control, more of an impact (humanitarian or world-changing in some way), and of course, more financial security.

Thanks for the thought provoking post,

Art Z | July 23, 2010 10:00 PM | Reply

Great post, and thanks for reminding me about not giving up on my dreams.

I cannot remember who said it to me, but it went something like this:

"The richest places in the world are cemeteries. There you have an abundance of ideas that were never introduced, songs never written and movies never made. A majority of those folks died wondering why they never pursued their dreams".

Andi | July 23, 2010 10:04 PM | Reply

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEpqaSeCdVo

I've been there. | July 23, 2010 10:16 PM | Reply

The world looks a bit different when you have a family with two small kids and you are already tight on money. You start making choices, you have to. Let me slip into that persona, I've been in your friend's shoes before.

Mastering any trade well enough to do it professionally takes time. That is time I have to spend away from my wife and kids, mentally if not physically. I could try to squeeze in a few hours a week learning, but to make the kind of progress that is marketable, I would have to give up other, more important things in my life.

Personally, I would love to work for myself, run my own company, but my business pursuits are not my main goal in life. Ultimately, work is just a means to an end: to allow me to enjoy life with my family. Sure, I gripe about were I am now, because I am not in my dream job. But I would rather be in a safe, boring job that provides a dependable, steady income, so that I can spend as much quality time with my family as possible.

I may be wrong, but I am guessing you do not have kids and are not married. There are many perspectives in life that can only be understood fully by experiencing the circumstances that made them. Parenting, with all its joy, worry, happiness, and weariness, is one of them.

Paul Joslin | July 23, 2010 10:36 PM | Reply

Although I agree with your advice and think everyone should try to reach their dreams, I do also feel that sometimes to take that leap requires you to have some form of safety net behind you (with the safety net required being larger the more responsibilities you have in your life e.g. mortgage / family).

This is why it's easy for a fresh graduate with no ties in life, living at home to potentially risk it all and start the company. The worst case for him is he fails, moves back home and probably gets on the same career ladder he would've anyway.

However, if someone has already climbed their career ladder a substantial way and now has commitments such as a large mortgage (based on the amount of their guaranteed salary), wife, kids, etc.

To chase his dream he would have to fall off the career ladder he is on, potentially lose the guaranteed income in that situation could end up with him and his whole family losing their home and being on the street. It's no longer about him following his dreams, it's about providing a stable future for his family.

You may have taken the leap and been successful, but for many others that have failed, they risked it and lost it all.

That said, I agree, it's tragic that people never reach their dreams and regret it. However, sometimes I think their 'regret' is just covering up the fact that they may not of been capable at all. It's a lot easier to say 'I could've been the greatest' - than putting your money where your mouth is and proving it.

Kim Jarrett | July 23, 2010 11:09 PM | Reply

Couldn't agree more. Nice post!

Chris | July 23, 2010 11:09 PM | Reply

A great, motivational post. Really makes me feel good about my decision to take a risk and move across the country to California. It so easy to second-guess our own dreams and desires, but taking a risk is truly one of the most rewarding experiences a single person can achieve.

Cujo | July 23, 2010 11:21 PM | Reply

I'm sick to death of these kinds of posts from twentysomethings with no obligations. I happen to be very happy in my career, but if I weren't, that would just be too bad. I have a wife and 3 kids. It's not just about me any more.

ted killian | July 23, 2010 11:27 PM | Reply

Life is usually not that simple. I have tried to pursue my "dream" for most of my adult life (I'm now 57). When I could not move immediately to follow "my muse" professionally I maintained my "creative spark" by taking more training, going for more education, and often practicing and working as a freelancer, amateur or a pro-bono volunteer. When marriage, kids, mortgage and car payments came along I made the many necessary sacrifices for the family, but still maintained the core of my main creative goals.

But being a person with a "dream" sometimes sets you apart. For many (if not most), spouse, kids, home, 2 cars, groceries, and so on, ARE the "dream" they're pursuing. When there is a difference of "dreams" within the family itself, things can become explosive rather quickly. When your spouse starts thinking of your silly "dream" as though it were a rival for their affections and attentions and interfering with or depriving children of time, influence or some other "intangable" . . . the result can be most painful. Marriages dissolve over such things.

Children (and like them some spouses) raised on the Hollywood paradigm of movies like "Hook" grow to believe that they are OWED every single spec of your time and soul that is not absolutely given to feeding them or paying the necessary bills. In such households there is no room for other "dreams" or other goals. For those of us who successfully manage to "save" our marriages and families, even the balancing act itself can turn bitter over the years. Now I am older. With my "dreams" largely unfulfilled. I try to mentor younger people with "dreams" and ambitions of their own . . . some of them my own kids.

It is so hard to inspire hope in them when all you feel in your heart is the scar-covered sum of decades long pain, conflict, bitterness and thwarted "dreams."

Albert replied to comment from the other side.. | July 23, 2010 11:49 PM | Reply

Yes!

margaret | July 23, 2010 11:54 PM | Reply

PLEASE, PLEASE,PLEASE: 60 is not too late to follow your dream!!!!

Virginia Macdonald | July 24, 2010 12:03 AM | Reply

I loved the blog. It brought me back to my vocational counseling class I took last year that really opened my eyes to what struggles people go through in their quest for creating a fulfilling life in all areas - work, home, family, leisure. I learned that there are many things that have contributed to how we think of each of these aspects of life - family and culture being the two biggies. While we've all heard of the career counselor helping high school or college students find the path they want to go on, a good vocational counselor does more than that - there is some personal counseling that can be done at the same time to help clients get through all those questions and perceived obstacles that might hold them back from realizing their dream, and help them explore how to fit their dreams into their lives. I'm not a vocational counselor, but I would definitely recommend them!

Brian | July 24, 2010 12:07 AM | Reply

This is so right and I know first hand that following the dream can be tough, because I did it. But do you know what, no regrets.

JustAnotherRandomHuman | July 24, 2010 12:32 AM | Reply

As long as the monetary system exists, no one will truly be free to do what they want. NO ONE.

What we need is a new system, one similar to the one proposed by the Zeitgeist movement, a 'resource-based' economy. Where the application of the scientific method and technology is used to solve the problems we face today.

Think about it - resources on this planet are abundant; the only reason we can't use them the way we need to use them, is because of governments and corporations needing to hold on to their power and their profits, respectively.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeitgeist_movement

http://thezeitgeistmovement.com

Russ | July 24, 2010 1:13 AM | Reply

Good read. Very inspiring to the nearly burnt out college student.3

Merennulli | July 24, 2010 1:38 AM | Reply

The fact that you're utterly ignoring the parent's responsibility and priorities has been hit on pretty well by other comments. As to the monetary motivation, money isn't perfect, but it's a representation of demand within a market. If there isn't demand for something, you'll only be doing it because you want to do it, not because it benefits most people.

I don't have the familial responsibilities, but I have dreams which I've let die. Everyone does, for the simple reason that we dream more than we can accomplish in five lifetimes. Sometimes things that can never happen. So you choose what is most important and make that dream a reality at the expense of the others. For many, that dream is a family, or of a comfortable life without the stresses associated with riskier dreams.

And as another said, 60 is not too late. That's when I intend to start my second career, get my doctorate, and focus on my writing. Today I'm working on different dreams, though.

mj1531 replied to comment from the other side.. | July 24, 2010 1:41 AM | Reply

So, looking back, you think not going after you what you wanted and having your soul waste away in some cube farm would have been better? You may not think things are great now, but your life hasn't ended yet.

You don't know if things will work out if you keep trying (they might), but if you hadn't tried at all you would have definitely been miserable.

Ken replied to comment from the other side.. | July 24, 2010 2:06 AM | Reply

the other side...man, I'm miserably sorry to hear that happened to you. I don't have anything to offer, but I can't let a story like that go by without offering some sort of condolence. I really, really hope you find a way out.

sussan | July 24, 2010 2:11 AM | Reply

i thought it was very interesting how someone who is obviously jaded about their lost dream came to talk to someone is so very passionate and invigorated about following theirs. there is no doubt that a seed was planted during that conversation and who knows what magnificence may grow from it, even if its just to inspire his kids to follow their dreams, how fantastic would that be. :)

live the dream, follow your heart and miracles will happen :)

OTAThirty | July 24, 2010 2:32 AM | Reply

My Dream 1 : To be successful Grandson, Son, Brother, Husband, Father....

My Dream 2: To be a successful entrepreneur, a financially independent programmer, start-up guru, motivator....

My age: 30

Dream 1 + Dream 2 = Happiness / Fullfillment / Content

Have been trying for years, Each day I say one thing to myself....Never give up...and I don't intend to...ever!

To the People who are 30+, I am married and have been for 10 year, have 2 beautiful kids, have a 250K mortgage and work in a industry which provides no job security.

The reason I never give up....

Reason 1: How could I look my kids in the face and motivate them to do great things if I gave up! My father gave up, my grandfather gave up...their not loosers for giving up, infact, financially their in fantastic positions but none of their kids had any motivation to do anything including me for so long. The reason being was that they simply wanted you to work and get a paycheck like they did most of their lives. Am not saying there's anything wrong with that, but to give up trying to get out of the "rat-race" is absurd! Why would you give up on yourself? How would you motivate other, how would you remain positive and not totally depressed!

Reason 2: Worse case, 50+ years of trying with no success. Your Choice: a lifetime of failures/failed start-up Or simply a lifetime of regret that you never tried.

I know which one I'll take..Choose Wisely!

steven | July 24, 2010 2:40 AM | Reply

Pity the man with big dreams who also happens to be a lazy coward.

Abhay Vardhan | July 24, 2010 3:13 AM | Reply

Nice post. Life is short. It is never too late to pursue one's dreams

steve | July 24, 2010 4:17 AM | Reply

I'm nearly 50, and staying in my less-than-ideal job so my kids can pursue their dreams while living at home with little/no expenses. I don't care how long it takes them; I love having my older kids at home! And I know I'm giving them an opportunity very few their age have.

I agree with many here - family is a big consideration for those in midlife. When the kids are gone, there will probably be another opportunity to follow my dreams, when it's just my wife and I. I can wait.

Remember, it's not all about you. And that's the way it should be.

Mike | July 24, 2010 5:22 AM | Reply

You should follow your dreams. That's what makes you you.

But because you're really satisfied with your career dream, you shouldn't look down at others in such a self-satified way.

Have you watched the movie "Up in the Air" with George Clooney?

Sean Murphy | July 24, 2010 6:57 AM | Reply

I would be cautious of looking down on someone who puts their children/family first. No one on their death bed wishes they spent more time at the office.

Amit @Rootein | July 24, 2010 9:49 AM | Reply

Truly overwhelmed and humbled with the amazing response we've received for this post. Thank you all for the comments and the Tweets.

To maintain posterity and not grow this post any longer, I've posted an update regarding questions raised through some comments here -

http://blog.rootein.com/2010/07/an-update-to-for-gods-sake-follow-your-dreams-post.html

Amit

David Pokorny | July 24, 2010 12:03 PM | Reply

'''Failing is not scary. What's scary is that you are 60 and reflecting back on your life "May be I should've given my dreams a chance, may be I would've succeeded, may be I would've lived my dream" But now it's too late. You might have missed the boat.'''

No one, at the end of their life says, "I wish I had worked harder." By and large, people say, "I wish I had spent more time with my loved ones."

Charlie | July 24, 2010 1:28 PM | Reply

Nice post, really inspirational. Ive been attempting to follow my dreams for the past 2 years with varying degrees of success. Im writing a blog about trying to get there http://www.charlie-millioninayear.com/ check it out if you like :)

Brian Jones | July 24, 2010 9:24 PM | Reply

Excellent article. I finally decided to pursue my dream of getting in the field of Freelancing (Web and Graphic Design). I am self taught still in my studies, and my passion to pursue and achieve this dream involves many many hours of study, and I have a family and work full time. If you love what you do and your passion is strong enough - there should be nothing that stops in your way.

Michel | July 24, 2010 10:52 PM | Reply

Inspiring and well said!

I thank you for this article! :)

Darlene | July 24, 2010 10:54 PM | Reply

Mortgage, car payments, mouths to feed...excuse after excuse after excuse.

Downsize. Carpool. Grow a garden & cook more at home. Sure, it's scary to make that leap. Terrifying! What if it all falls apart and we have to start over? That's the point. Don't try & you don't know what could have happened.

If you're living your life for everyone else, (ie: children, spouse, parents, boss, whomever) then you're going to be one unhappy & alone old person b/c those people certainly aren't living their lives for you. You're a temporary fixture. You have to live for you. Make yourself happy. Know that you did everything you could to pursue your dreams!

To quote a friend; "When I'm lying on my death bed, I want to look back on my life & think 'Hell yeah.'.

P.S. 5 kids, 2 mortgages, 2 car payments, school loans, 2 chickens, a cat & 2 turtles & we're packing up our lives up & starting over to follow our dreams. We're paycheck to paycheck kind of people. You can do anything you want if you want it bad enough.

Eleene | July 25, 2010 12:13 AM | Reply

I'm agreeing with Darlene. Too many of us are so fixed in our larger-than-life lifestyle to want to pinch pennies.

Drop cable TV. Downsize your internet connection to DSL or something. Buy your clothes from thrift stores (I like getting more bang for my buck). Refinance your home. Cook at home and don't eat out! Clip coupons. Plant a garden. Do away with your fancy-schamcy iPhone. So many things we can do, yet a lot of us are too stuck in our ways to do without the things we don't really need. (And honestly, I'm still working on that myself.)

If you want something bad enough, you will find ways to do it without making your life or your family's life miserable. And if part of the reason why you don't try to realize your dreams is because you and your kids just can't do without cable TV, then all I can is pity you.

I'm glad I am doing all I can to realize my dream, even if it means I can't have all the luxuries I once had with a bigger paycheck.

Brian | July 25, 2010 12:39 AM | Reply

Eleene prompted me to make another comment, because she practically described our new lifestyle. It really is about change and realising what's important in life rather than what you sometimes think is important.

Ricardo Graça | July 25, 2010 2:03 AM | Reply

If you are weird, then so am I. A few months ago I quit my (boring and dead-end, but safe paycheck at the end of the month) job to follow my dreams. I started my own business with the money I saved after one and half years of the said job. This was something I wanted to do for some years, but I simply didn't have enough money to do it on my own (this was my excuse for a long time). I didn't have a lot to invest, but I still did it. I'm just beggining to have more income than expenses at the end of the month, but it was definitely worth it. It is difficult, but it's just a question of realizing you have to take one step backwards today so you can take two steps forward tomorrow.

This article is specialy meaning to me since I also always hated people like the one you describe, that have all it takes to do what they REALLY want, but keep on making excuses for not taking even the more basic steps towards achieving it. It is a fact that the future belongs to the few of us still willing to get our hands dirty.

Jay | July 25, 2010 2:37 AM | Reply

So glad I don't have kids!!! I know you all love your children but damn, I'm sure it haunts you how much they ruined.

Vasudha | July 25, 2010 3:10 PM | Reply

This was really awesome....
One more point I would like to mention is ..
at times its nt just the fear of failures..there is one more fear which I(personally) feel is even greater than it and its'
FEAR OF REALIZING AND ACCEPTING YOUR STRENGTH(POWER)..
Human are the most amazing creature in this entire Universe..
At times all you need to realize is ..
"Everything is possible,if you have the burning desire to do it"..
Great post..Thanks for posting it..
I'm going to post that in fb,buzz and twitter.

Louise Brookes | July 25, 2010 5:01 PM | Reply

I love this post but I wanted to say 'Is there such a thing as a 'guaranteed paycheck'? I'm beginning to wonder...

Ayush Kumar | July 25, 2010 7:42 PM | Reply

I'm on that point of my life where I can either follow my dreams and become whatever I like or I can join the rat-race and become what everyone is becoming. And this article helped me a lot in waking up.

Thanks a lot!

Vibe Tutorials | July 25, 2010 9:56 PM | Reply

I completely agree with you on this one. My mom has/had a great dream where she wanted to be a fashion designer, selling her own cloths that she made herself, but problems came up with money and other issues. So she's scared to take risks with her life now, but I keep telling her that dreams aren't that easy and it's not that simple.

She keeps going against my age though, because I'm much younger than her and that I don't know what I'm talking about. But hey, check this out... I got into my dreams early, where I wanted to be, in middle school. My cousin, who does and like to do what I do, is doing this same thing in college, and she has a job she hates to go to, but she knows she need that job, so she wont be insane about it and just quit to go to what she likes to do. But the point is, she came over to my house one day and was shocked to see me doing what SHE could have done in HER child hood too.

So lets just say your dreams are 90% work and 10% talent. No one wants to do the work... They just want to use their talent, but that's where they flaw themselves the most.

It took me a good few years to understand how success actually works, and I'm glad that I learned most of it by 17, which I am now.

I haven't actually gotten far myself, but I've just expose myself to doing this (if you check out my website). I made one post on my website already and people like it a LOT. That hard 'work' (90% of it) is so worth it, it's what really makes you happy about your dreams, and especially since you love to do what you do. HARD WORK + YOUR TALENT together is so adulate, I promise you won't regret it. It'll most likely be the most reminiscing moment for you that you'll never forget. It'll keep a smile in you somewhere I bet.

But if you think I'm wrong: doubt me then, try it though.

Steve | July 26, 2010 1:06 AM | Reply

Forbes predicts that the average working American male will spend over 70% of his time awake with his boss and/or employer. Therefore, the average male spends the vast majority of time with his work, rather than with his wife and kids. Better cozy up! Better like it!

I hope that the meaning of life goes beyond merely working for the "man" to make the "man" rich and make me and my family feel safe. Besides, with such "uncertain times," financial security and stability may never be fully reached. Might as well do something you like! For me, it feels very unnatural to spend and dedicate my one precious life for the passions of another (isn't that what it really is?)

With this said, please do not misinterpret my argument. My motive is not to knock the warrior father who toils away at a job he dislikes, only to provide for his precious, Heaven-sent children and wife...that is indeed powerful and demands respect. Furthermore, that is not to be slammed with criticism. Whatever you're doing, do it well. If you're a garbage man, be the best garbage man in the world. But, WITH THAT SAID, I don't think it's too much to ask to achieve the former virtue of a righteous provider, but also to incorporate our God-given skills, passions, and interests.

I hope I can teach my children to follow their dreams. What better way to do that than to follow my own? I hope I can teach my children to use their skills and interests to bless the lives of their families and the world. What better way to do that than to use my skills and follow my righteous passions? Why not start early and devote your life to your own and your family's dream. Note: "Family." Pursuing something that makes you happy doesn't mean you're irresponsible, nor does it void your responsibilities as a father or husband. But rather, I would argue it puts you in the driver's seat and serves as an amazing catalyst to be a provider and create the life you want, as well as the life your family wants. We all know what is in and out of our reach. Nike says it best...

Andrew | July 27, 2010 4:48 PM | Reply

60% of the US lives paycheck to paycheck.

You can't follow your dreams when you live that way.

Jaret Manuel | July 29, 2010 5:20 AM | Reply

This is an excellent post and to the naysayers or people who have given up that is unfortunate. There is no question circumstances arise where it is no longer about you: Kids, Wife, family, etc, however are these burdens or challenges? Is this a lesson you want to teach your kids to lay down the gauntlet and pass up your dreams? I don't know from a personal experience yet I realize having kids requires time, effort, money, and for some that means playing it safe and not rocking the risk boat to go start a company. For those people in that situation I feel for you, however I am not so sure that means giving up altogether. I do not believe there is a right or wrong answer as priorities change but throwing away dreams is unfortunate.

The author of this posts says a little is better then none, do something, try something towards what you have longed for. But is there another cause to this delaying, etc. Maybe you don't want it, maybe the pain is too big to face versus the pleasure you have now as it is all a tradeoff. I see things as challenges and obstacles, and lessons if one pays attention to them, and listens for an answer.

Currently, I am in my early thirties, had a great paying job with one of the best known tech companies, making the cash and blowing it just as fast living the single life and was partying. I could have done many things different however live and hopefully learn right? I always wanted to get out on my own so I joined a startup that hadn't launched to do sales and get some experience. This was risky because nothing was established and was it ever a disaster. It turned out one of the co-founders was absolutely crazy and fraudulent, and to keep it short it was simply a nightmare. So shortly after leaving a great company, it flies in my face, I am out, money is gone, in debt, out of a job, no more condo (I moved in to a work/live space), and I was harassed by a mentally disturbed nutcase for several months.

So what happens from there? I was desperate so I took a salaried job with a big company but it was a shitty job for me as there was nothing exciting about it and I lasted 7 months and I had to bounce as I was going crazy, and what did I do? You got it I joined another startup. The kid wasn't a psycho but it was pre-launch again, and I went out and pounded the street and sold 50k in contracts as it was supposed to launch in a few weeks. Well, I quickly found out the model was not going to work and there was disagreement with the founder and I had no control to change it, and I was not willing to risk anymore family help money and go further down the hole. Fast forward several months later and I have no idea if the business ever launched but my gut checked out correct. I do wish him well.

So why am I writing all of this? It is because we all have our situations are reasons, challenges, etc, and hopefully it may offer you some inspiration to chase your goals in life and if it is a startup to go do it. I realize I have bills to pay and I am in a relationship so I have to get an income going asap and trust me it is stressful but I never give up belief. Sure there are times when you say enough is enough but you have to believe in yourself. It is tough and I am the first one to realize and accepted the consequences of the risks, and that my resume leaves employers with questions (I even had a recruiter berate me once. No joke!). So I am working on getting an income going but I still have my goals (I could go on about this but Talk cooks no rice as the Chinese say) and I plan to jump back into the startup scene as soon as I can, and this post reassures a little bit, regardless that starting (training, learning, doing, whatever) is better then nothing.

Terry Fox stayed on track by running just one more light pole, Henry Ford was 43 before he got going, Col. Sanders was even older, Edison failed 10,000 times, and Abraham Lincoln failed enough for an army prior to becoming President. Also, for the married with kids people out there I encourage you to read up on the story of the couple who started Stonyfield Organic Yogurt.

@JaretManuel

Ken | July 29, 2010 3:17 PM | Reply

I was struck by how many people I personally know who have given up on their own dreams because of their own version of "reality". I'll keep following mine so long as my heart is beating!